on hiatus

Hello everyone - I am on blogging break until October due to vacation - yes!!! See you in October!

six

now six

Oliver turns six today. He had chocolate cake for breakfast. He is overjoyed. I am proud of him in every way today and every day.

We rarely print out photos nowadays. This morning I realized that aside from a little album of very early baby pictures, Oliver has not seen the hundreds of photos that I have taken of him. So in honor of his sixth birthday, I just finished a three-hour marathon going through a gazillion photo files. I uploaded my favorite images of Oliver to the Walgreens website, and will pick them up later this afternoon. Technology to the rescue today. Near the end of the 2007 files, I began to feel prisoner of this little love project, so the rest may have to wait until next year.

There were many photos of events and days that I had forgotten. I hope Oliver enjoys this little photojourney tonight as much as I did this morning.

Love you, Oliver!

magical life

entrance  to wonder

another kind of entrance to wonder

you can find the book here

I love fairies. Our daughter, Annika, loves them even more. When she was a tiny girl, we read all of Cicely Mary Barker's Flower Fairies books. They are still referenced frequently. Annika's fairy life grows so beautifully from that first gentle flower fairy book and gorgeous artwork: a precious inner garden of fairies, flowers and magic. For years now, Annika has read every fairy book she can get her hands on. She has fairies everywhere in her room.

the dining table - seashells for plates

marsh house interior in the making

marsh dwelling

Lately, she's been building fairy houses all over the yard, in the woods at the base of a towering old maple, in the marsh among the reeds, at the source of a bubbling spring, near the raspberry patch, and who knows where else. Oliver helps and has some gorgeous fairy creations of his own, too. Now Annika is busy writing a novel, the main character is a brave and adventurous fairy, of course. I have no doubt that she will be published, it is an amazing and exciting tale.

stage, created by Ollie

garden house

Have you ever passed a forest and chanced to see that gleaming, glowing space of soft green where fairies absolutely have to live? This has happened to me so many times. Now I am feeling they might really be there, flitting around, another species entirely; some of us connect with them, others just aren't paying attention. It really doesn't matter, it's all so much fun.

dancing ring

boat afloat

intuition

beautiful sunset

by Annika

This week I am having a lot of fun learning to hear and follow my intuition. Our intuition is that little inner voice that we have learned so successfully to ignore and squash because it sometimes tells us to look at things we don't want to see; it sometimes tells us to do things that aren't the easiest and most logical things to do. When we hear it, we generally know it is right, but we often don't want to hear it because it doesn't always fit with the ego's to-do list. Our intuition is a gift from God, it is one way we can receive guidance from the Source of all that is. Though most of us have a sweet little connection to our intuition, we work hard to be very good at setting it aside for what seems more practical, "nicer" and easier, or what feels more socially acceptable. Instead of being taught to listen to our own unique truth, as we grow up, we learn to consider every angle of a decision and think through each little thing and then proceed according to what looks best on paper. We finally get so good at this kind of decision-making that we close and lock the door to intuition, thinking that we know better. Luckily, intuition stays near, waiting patiently for us to ask for help. 

I am officially asking for help. I get centered and ask myself, "What's next? What's highest and best?"--noticing the first little hint that pops into my body, and then promising to do it with total trust and abandon. It's a little scary! But I know absolutely that my deepest soul would never guide me the wrong way. I know this for sure, because I have heard and ignored my own voice so many times. 

Though we often don't see the outcome of intuitive, divinely-guided decisions until far down the road, if ever, our intuition always tells the truth. So far in the last several days (when I've listened to it) my intuition has guided me to have a nice talk with my wonderful grandma, shop at a grocery store I rarely visit, take a nap, create a little artwork, stand on my head (weird, I know), sing, make an unplanned stop to visit a friend for a deep and meaningful conversation, sit quietly alone, and now to write.

now

lightning strikes the sea

by Oliver

Yesterday, a good friend gave me one of the biggest compliments I've ever received. She said she was inspired to take better care of herself by the way that I've been consciously choosing to care for and nurture myself in the last year. This is true, I have started to do pretty much whatever I want to do, no holds barred. It has not been the easiest year for my very generous and understanding husband and kids, and honestly, it has not been the easiest for me either. Luckily what I "want" to do often includes laundry and cooking, driving kids to most of their activities, preparing taxes, and giving big hugs (always).


It's 2010. Many of us are arriving at this point in life --a certain age or simply a startling moment where we go, "Whoa, wait a minute!" The time for now or never has arrived. We realize it's time to get priorities in order, time to push past our nasty old demons, time to start having the fun we are meant to have. So what do we do now? The choices are different for everyone, maybe we quit smoking, quit griping, start walking, try a new sport, travel and explore, take an art class, learn to meditate, enjoy healthy food, forgive everyone, learn to be present, get outside, listen more. Whatever it is that our hearts call us to do, this is as good a day as any to begin.

go for it

This summer, we are taking off to see the wide world. After dreaming about traveling with the kids for years, we are now ready to go. I am so very excited, Wheee! Yippee! We leave home in June, and will return at the end of September. Our first stop is Europe, mainly the Netherlands and France. I am most looking forward to being together with the family, just enjoying one another and learning together about other ways of life, finding new friends and adventures along the way. 


"How is this possible?", the bystander might ask. Here are the what's and why's. 


The Wonder of Technology - Working Remotely
Many years ago, David chose to follow his joy and began a career in IT, which he loves 100%. Because he enjoys his work so much, he has gotten very good at it, and because he's very good at it, he has found clients who appreciate his services and his integrity, and therefore are glad to support his request to work remotely, so that he can really work from anywhere in the world, while continuing to give the very best quality service. Our only requirement is high-speed internet. Three cheers for David and three more for technology.


Connecting with Like-Minded Travelers
If you like to have guests and don't worry too much about little things, I would highly recommend looking into house swapping the next time you want to travel. There are several house-swapping websites online, my favorite so far is homeforexchange.com. Here you will find a friendly community of people who are willing to exchange houses with you for a few weeks so that each of you can enjoy a vacation in the place of your choice with a nice, comfy place to stay, and no hotel fees. This is really my favorite part of the whole thing. The many, many hours I have spent in front of the screen, searching for and communicating with potential home-swapping families, have really paid off.


The folks I have encountered so far have been wonderful to communicate with, even rejection is fun and friendly here. In e-mailing back and forth to arrange exchanges, I already feel like I have several new friends from around the world. Another benefit is that we are having a lot of fun getting our own home ship-shape so that it will be a peaceful, enjoyable place of rest for those staying here. Several of the people I'm working with have already done many successful exchanges, and the reports are overwhelmingly positive.


Making Friends Wherever You Go
We met a very kind retired couple from India this summer. Our families became fast friends and we ended up co-hosting weekend meditation retreats together with them at our home in August. We all had such fun together, they have invited us to stay with them at their home in Mumbai. Well, who can refuse a generous offer like that! So for the month of September, we will be staying with Dinesh and Kushi, as they shepherd us around their country. This is truly a fantasy come true for me, as I have been dreaming of going to India since my first taste of Palak Paneer many years ago.


Dream On
As this process unfolds, I am truly amazed at the abundance of fun in the universe. It appears that when you really desire to do something that makes you happy, you can absolutely find a way. Thinking outside the box helps. Perhaps our journey will inspire you to do something you've long been dreaming of. This life is pretty short, let's enjoy every minute. 


Please do leave comments here. Share your own dreams, those that have come true and those you hold in your heart. Writing them down makes them even more real!

layers

Like an onion, my husband is a man of many layers, of clothing, that is. He has been known to wear up to 5 shirts, one on top of another. Among friends, his layering has become something of a legend, earning him the moniker "Layer Guy", a name bestowed upon him by a stand-up comic who once spotted David and his many shirts in the audience one evening and generously pointed him out to the crowd. 

I have enjoyed gently mocking my Layer Guy, until this winter, when insane oil bills helped us to set the thermostat at a ridiculously cold 60% in the house. Right now, I am wearing 2 long-sleeved shirts under a sweatshirt, and yoga pants under snow pants as I sit next to the space heater in my cold little office, blogging with icy fingers. I'm typing quickly so as to generate more heat. The handy thing is, I don't have to put on anything extra to go outside.

This week, our daughter, Annika, has taken layering to thrilling new heights. As I kissed her goodnight on Sunday evening, with a sparkle in the corner of her eye, she lifted the corner of her flannel pajamas, proudly displaying the outfit she was planning to wear the next day. All she would have to do in the morning is take off the jammies and, voila! Ready for school. I deeply admire this most innovative, time-saving, extra warm idea--please feel free to try it out yourself.

a new biscuit

I love the New Year. Full of promise and sparkling with possibility. Time to get organized, shed tired habits, say good-bye to things that no longer work for you. A fresh opportunity to be the person you wish to be.

At night, I put the animals to bed. That means closing the doors to the chicken coop, to keep the sleeping birds safe as they rest for the night with their surprisingly sweet (for chickens), singing snores. As I walk to the barn in the dark, beloved head-flashlight strapped to my furry hat, the light reflects on the snow. I am walking through a veritable sea of shimmering diamonds. How can the world be this beautiful? Who knew such riches were here, waiting in the cold night.

In this new year, I am very excited to be starting a brand new adventure. In December, I felt it was time to get a job, the kind where I would have the most fun I could imagine. A job that would see me enjoying each and every day so very much that magically, the entire world would inch a little closer to being a better place.

So I sat for a few minutes and thought, what can I do with the skills and resources I have right now? And the answer came quite quickly: Well, of course, I can create workshops for learning about how life works and exploring the beauty of who we are. Meeting new people, learning from experts and artists, playing in our creativity, finding alignment with spirit.

gotta love those biscuits

From my heart to yours, I am really happy to announce that Heart Biscuit, LLC is ready to go! Our first course will start in less than a month. You can check it out  and visit the new website at www.heartbiscuit.com.

friendly fun with the iron

Craft-wise, my friend, Mary, and I, appear to be separated at birth.  The last time we saw one another, we realized we were both currently obsessed with the bird form. At the risk of totally dorking out, I don't mind telling you we also discovered that we use the exact same wrapping paper. And we often find ourselves unintentionally and unknowingly doing similar projects at the same time. As I was here getting ready for Christmas with my iron-on crafty gifts, it turns out Mary was up to similar shenanigans. Gotta love it.

Here are some of the fun projects I've been making with Heatn Bond:

these initial tote bags are super-easy

and they look like a million bucks!

covering notebooks with fabric takes a little more time 

lots of room for creativity

P.S. Check out Mary's awesome bird-design dish towel!

snow!

photo by me, 2007

"Snow! Snow!

Just look at the snow!

Come out! Come out!

Come out in the snow."

                        --P.D. Eastman, Snow

It is 10pm, the wind is blowing, snow is snowing. I just came in from putting the chickens to bed, and it is simply a gorgeous little sparkly blizzard out there. Several area schools have already announced that they are closed for tomorrow. We will wait and see what the morning brings!

photo by me, 2007

P.S. breaking news---we have a snow day, no school---Yes!

#1 holiday

Hands-down, Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. I adore getting together with friends and family, enjoying a  lovingly prepared meal, basking in the warmth and togetherness. I am so happy to take part in the official acknowledgement of gratitude for all the wonder of this world.

I also love Thanksgiving for all that it doesn't have. For me, it is a perfect combination of all the best holidays, pared down to the bare essentials. No obligation to mass-mail greeting cards, no budget busting on gifts soon forgotten, no mountain of candy, just kinship and thankfulness, plus a nice dinner.

I believe that the more we feel and express our gratitude for all the beautiful little moments in life, the more open we become to receiving the abundance and support that is all around. As we practice being grateful, we get better and better at it. Soon we can even be grateful for difficulties and obstacles, as we come to see them as opportunities to learn and grow.

Happy Thanksgiving!

winter coat

I need a new winter coat. I would really like one that is exactly like my old coat, purchased at The Gap about fifteen years ago: a plain, black, super-warm puffer jacket, snap-on hood, deep pockets, no frills. In 2007, the zipper on this jacket died. I couldn't find one the right length to replace it myself and the tailor said it was too hard to do anyway. So I got rid of the jacket and am still looking for a replacement.

Our three sheep and lone goat do not have to go shopping for a new jacket--they grow their own luxurious winter coats every year. Lately, they have been getting furrier and furrier. I am truly impressed by this.

The sheep are Barbados hair sheep. They have hair instead of wool. The hair is rough and coarse, almost like plant fiber. When you pet them vigorously, you can get a nice handful of dirty hair like the bunch pictured above. The other day, I was petting the sheep,wondering what I could do with this hair. Could I stuff it into some fabric to make something warm? As I considered the possibilities, Ike came up, gave my hand a little sniff, and proceeded to eat the hair.

 

In case this was a freak occurrence, I gathered more hair and offered it to Fern, who also gobbled it up. Huh. Nature is so very interesting. I have not seen anyone coughing up a hairball out there.

click

I am so thankful for my camera. With the crazy running from here to there, I don't always take the time to stop and breathe in the beauty that is all around. Taking pictures helps me to connect, to take a moment and slow it down. I took these photos the other day during a brief few minutes of sunshine. The light breeze added some welcome mystery: every time I pressed the shutter button, the gently moving scene that ended up in the picture was entirely different from the photo I had lined up.

In a photograph, you can see things that you wouldn't otherwise notice. A heavenly glow of light through the trees; intense colors; a clear, beckoning sky; little ladybugs on leaves. It's the same taking pictures of the kids. When I look closely at their photos, I sometimes catch a glimpse of joy, courage, love, confidence, or even sadness that I didn't realize was there at the time I took the picture.

There are other perfect moments where, no matter how hard you try or how many pictures you snap, the camera refuses to capture the truth and depth of your experience.

On some days, holding the camera gets in the way of experiencing the fullness of life at hand. Then we have to just put it down and get real.

Wow, I love these photos. I'm so happy to share them with you. Thank you for spending part of your day with me.

yard art

peace

Annika loves the autumn leaves. Every year, she will spend hours, energetically raking up a big pile for herself and her brothers to jump into. With all the rain we've had this fall, the leaves are too soggy to roll around  in, but that doesn't stop my girl. Instead, racing outside after school over the course of several days this week, she turned the yard into an art gallery. First came the inspired peace symbol, then the dove you see below.

dove pattern

the dove. 

you can't see it in the photo, but there is an actual branch with

 green leaves here to symbolize the traditional olive branch

recycling: Annika's signature symbol

Last night, the big storm blew this inspired art installation away, making the memories even more precious. Today, I count my many blessings.

sweet heart

where's the beef?

mashed potatoes, garden tomatoes, garlic spinach

"Ahimsa" means non-violence, to do no harm in thought, word and deed. The word comes from the ancient Sanskrit language and the practice of Ahimsa is an important part of the yogic tradition. Today as I practice Ahimsa, I commit to doing my best to embrace and support all living beings, to cause the least possible harm, to be kind, generous and forgiving to others and to myself.

In my role as family food provider, I have really enjoyed cooking meat: the savory juice, the crunchy skin, the time-honored traditions and recipes. But I always prefer to begin with a slab of meat that is as far removed from the actual animal as possible. When it looks too much like the animal it came from, I feel creepy. It is much easier to use skinless boneless breasts that don't look anything like the chicken running around in my backyard. Bacon doesn't at all resemble a squealing piggy, so I really love the bacon. You get the picture.

On and off for several years, I have considered adopting a vegetarian diet. Not to say I haven't fully enjoyed a delicious bleu cheese burger, but since childhood, I have always gravitated more towards the vegetables with less enthusiasm for the meat. To my surprise, over the summer, I magically bypassed vegetarian and went all the way to vegan instead. The desire for meat and animal products simply disappeared.

At some point in the month of July, I just went ahead and accepted the idea that a living being doesn't necessarily need to lay down its life just so I can have a nice sandwich. In the old days, living here in Wisconsin's wintry climate, we actually needed to eat meat in order to survive. But now, with trucks and trains and greenhouses, there are plenty of other delicious proteins I can have in my sandwich.

This interesting culinary path is not for everyone. Unless my family decides to embrace the veggies 100%, I am still buying and cooking meat for them. For now, I just know this is the right choice for me. My digestion is 100% better, I can fit back into my skinny jeans, and I have a lot more energy. All this without feeling like I've made a single sacrifice.

Note on Eggs: We still have chickens living here. They have an outdoorsy, safe, healthy environment and they appear to enjoy long, rich lives here with us. By their nature, they lay eggs. For the most part, they will not sit on the eggs long enough to hatch more. We have to do something with these egg-- what should we do? Of course, eggs are not traditionally "vegetarian" and certainly not"vegan".  The only conclusion I can come to about our special chickens' eggs is that right now we are obligated to enjoy them, share them and be grateful for these beautiful, pearly gifts. Other opinions about the eggs are welcome.

ag

This summer, I spent a LOT of time tending to my inner garden. Projects included:

1. Sitting in meditation, doing yoga, reading helpful texts, sewing the seeds of new friendships (Planting).

2. Digging deep to dislodge the pesky roots that had grown into bad habits of mind and body (Weeding).

3. Learning to be in the present moment, remembering my long-hidden Higher Self, letting in the Light and reaching for the sky (Growing).

4. Discovering a certitude, peace and confidence that I had not known before (Harvest).

It was, and still is, a time of growth, transformation, trust and acceptance. I look just the same on the outside, but on the inside, now I feel shiny. I have noticed some pretty little flowers starting to bloom in the fertile earth that is me.

BUT. . . . While all this was going on, I totally neglected my other garden, the one in the yard behind the house. Darn it. This 30' x 30' plot of pure potential is now tangled with brambles and weeds of breathtaking variety. Locating the yellow and orange grape tomatoes hidden hither and thither has become a game of "I Spy".

Sunday morning found me in that weedy jungle, finally ready to work. Sitting there amidst the burdock and crabgrass, I noticed some entertaining parallels between my inner garden and my outdoor one.

Press the play button below to view the movie:

"Inner and Outer Gardening--Eerily Similar: A Demonstration"

gramps, grams and clams

grandpa brought these in the truck, all the way from Connecticut

My in-laws came for a visit at the end of August. On their first night here, we met at my brother- and sister-in-law's house for a special meal--Grandpa brought clams from Connecticut for the feast. I am very happy to see Grammy and Grandpa pulling up in the truck, but I do not eat these clams: I can't even bring myself to give them a little sniff. The rest of my family enjoyed the clams and melted butter with great gusto.

family fun with clams

As usual, David's parents spent the first half of their trip with his brother's family and the second half here with us. I love it when Grammy and Grandpa are here, we all get to slow down for a few days, work together on the crossword puzzle, catch up on the news, review family history, play cards and relax. It was a great time. Grammy & Grandpa were able to see the kids off for their first day of school, including Oliver's very first brave departure for kindergarten. A shared moment to be treasured and remembered.

ode to the fair

watching the parade 2004

August is time for the Alto Fair. Held in the unincorporated town of Alto, WI, the 2-day event is similar to a county fair, only more family-ish and much smaller. For me, it a class reunion and a family reunion with the added bonus of chickens, goats and cows. It starts with breakfast and ends with fireworks. I love it beyond reason.

As a kid, it was the place to bring all my 4-H artwork, baking and animal projects for judging. I rode ponies in the parade. Cheered on by my beloved grandpa, I led my calf, Shasta, in the ring (winning the coveted "honorable mention" ribbon). I was so proud to be the granddaughter of a dairy farmer. As a tween, there was the excitement of carnival rides and the chance to glimpse that boy for whom I held a torch. As a young adult, it was the best place to catch up with old classmates. Now, I treasure the opportunity to share all of this with my kids, to see my grandma and all my aunts, to pet the critters, check out the pies in the baking competition and admire the vegetables from 4-H'ers gardens.

2006, our friend's chicken, Claus--Grand Champion

Several years ago, I decided to enter the "butter cookie contest." I begged Grandma for her best recipe, and spent two days baking. The result was a plate of 6 perfect cow-shaped cookies. Traditionally, my grandma competes in these contests as well. That year, she used a lesser butter cookie recipe, allowing me to go for the glory. I walked away with the blue ribbon and the 20 bucks. Due to the pilfered recipe, my victory was not quite as sweet as the cookies--I would rather have seen Grandma win.

alto fair, tilt-a-whirl 2009

photo by Cal

Once the great-grandchildren arrived on the scene, my grandma and my Aunt Ann began presenting an annual "Alto Fair" envelope to each family. The envelope contains money for each child to play carnival games and enjoy the rides. It is so much fun to burn through this money, absolutely guilt-free, knowing we are here simply to enjoy.

This year, I rode the tilt-a-whirl with Oliver. The dirt, grease and faded clown pictures were eerily familiar--I believe this is exact same tilt-a-whirl we rode all those years ago. Back then it was an exciting 3 minutes and then on to the next ride. This time there were two hours of head-spinning before I felt normal again. I am changing every day. Thankfully, the Alto Fair remains pretty much the same.

Arigato Tomoyuki

a new friend, a new brother

Tomoyuki is a great cook--he made these soba noodles for us

(they came all the way from Japan in his suitcase!)

I lucked into modeling this gorgeous kimono at one of our get-togethers

Tomoyuki's whisk for making green tea--delicious!

We were honored to celebrate Tomoyuki's 13th birthday while he was here with us.

A very special occasion.

Tomorrow we will drive our precious new son and brother, Tomoyuki, to meet the chaperone who will take him on the long flight back to his family in Japan. It is a bittersweet time. Tomoyuki loves to fish, so we have done that once today, with plans to return to the lake later this afternoon. I find myself unable to tell him it's time to pack his suitcase. Oliver will have a big adjustment Friday morning, when he wakes up without his new big brother by his side. Tomoyuki has brought much joy and laughter from his home to ours, and I hope we are sending these same gifts, along with pure love and summer fun back with him. Thank you, Tomuyuki, for being you.